I have an AMAZING husband.

Everyone who knows Pete loves him... it's hard not to. HOWEVER, I live with the man and I of course tend to get frustrated over the little silly things that really should not matter. SO, I was reminded this weekend of how special of a guy he is.

We were driving on 90 heading North to Wisconsin through some rain. I was driving and complaining that my butt hurt and that the stop and go was making me feel sick... and Pete said, "I don't know what to do to make it better. I've offered to drive but you won't let me... so other then staying at Sundara tonight I don't think there's much more I can do to put you in a better mood." I thought he was joking... I was being crabby and I knew it. After not believing him for about 3 minutes I realized he really booked the night!! I was SHOCKED. Pete has never done anything like this before. We dropped Makenzie off at his mom & dad's house and went to the hotel at 4ish. After checking out the amazing room and view we went out to dinner... just the two of us. AMAZING. I love real conversation and remembering all the things that we've been through over the last three years of marriage and our five years of being together that has brought us to love each other more then I even understood when we said our vows. I don't pretend that life is perfect... we have plenty of bad days... but this was not one of them!!! We then went back to sit in the hot tub and relax. We woke up to eat a wonderful breakfast on our balcony and then suntanned in the morning, worked out, suntanned some more and even took a little nap in between dips in the pool. It was AMAZING. I don't even have words for how relaxed I was.

We have had a tough hand dealt to us over the past 1 1/2 but one positive of the whole experience is that our relationship dove to a new depth that I think would have taken 20+ years to have reached if it wasn't for me realizing how much I need Pete. I am an independent girl and I tend to carry the weight of the world on my shoulders without asking for help but I wasn't able to be that girl for a long time. I can see that we are starting a new chapter to life and I feel like it is going to be good. God is my rock and my strength but Pete has been everything that God knew I needed him to be.

The Simple Woman's Daybook...

FOR TODAY July 22nd

Outside my window...rain falling onto the pond and a flower I planted in memory of my sister.

I am thinking...I cannot wait for Pete to come home!!

I am thankful for... my sweet baby, coupons, and rainy days.
From the kitchen... Mexican casserole for dinner with rice and a salad.

I am wearing... tank top and sweat pants.

I am creating... thank you cards for some wonderful presents I got for my birthday!!

I am going... to Kohls or Bed Bath & Beyond (with coupons!!) to pick out shower curtains and rugs for our master and guest bathroom after Makenzie wakes up.

I am reading... I wish I had time to read today!!

I am hoping... that I can clean the main floor of the house tonight after Makenzie goes to bed.

I am hearing... the rain.

Around the house... paperwork that needs to be sorted, cleaning supplies left out from last night, and a sleepy cat.

One of my favorite things... having the windows open on a rainy day.

A few plans for the rest of the week: finish cleaning, get bedding ready for Annette to come (YAY), pick out paint color for our upstairs hall/landing, drive to Beloit to buy a play kitchen for Makenzie that I found on craigslist.

Here is picture thought I am sharing...

http://thesimplewomansdaybook.blogspot.com/ (to see the creator's blog of this blog concept)

Amish Day & A Lesson Learned

Not everyone will think this is as exciting as I did... but trust me... it was ALOT of fun. For my birthday celebration my mom, mother in law, and sister in law all went to a town in WI (close to the condo) where the Amish had a small community. We spent the day going to bakery after bakery, shopping at their country store, and investigating as much as we possibly could!! The food was amazing... Pete made french toast with a loaf of their bread.. YUMMY. Their cinnamon buns were so big and delicious and I had a blast shopping at a wood working store that also sold crafts and other items. Char is great at asking questions without seeming intrusive and we talked to several people about their lives and businesses. I am going to learn how to make soy candles in the glass ball jars that we also use for canning. I bought two of them and LOVE the smell and look. I also bought a perennial for our garden in the back yard. It was a great day of talking, exploring and enjoying a taste of a world so far from our own. (Amy, we thought of you often... next time you need to come with!!)

Also, I have been realizing something that I find very intriguing. The more I think about what I want and focus on myself, the crabbier I seem to be. When I'm worried about helping someone or thinking of what I can do for someone else... I am content. I know that the Bible talks about selfishness alot for a reason and that is something I'm working on. Whenever I start to think "I need a break" or "I just can't keep up with everything on my plate" I stress and make myself so irritable. The pastor of the church we go to in WI spent this week on how important it is to give (not just money but our time, energy & our gifts) to God and to others. I am going to focus on this all week.

"Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit,but with humility of mind let each of you regard one another more important than himself; Do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others."

Going CRAZY.

We have had a FUN two weeks trying to fit everything fun into every moment we could. Between the condo in WI, Brookfield Zoo, Fontana Beach, Aunt Linda & Tim's house with Abbie, Alex, Katelyn, the pool at Grandma & Grandpa's, a fun BBQ with our friends & family, their new power wheel that they take all over the place... and probably other stuff I just can't remember... we all had a great time... but we are all starting to get tired. Today we just enjoyed a relaxing day at my mom's & dad's with a trip to McDonald's and to Cold Stone. Both kids are sleeping and we'll hopefully spend more time in the little pool and just playing before Timmy heads back to AL tomorrow afternoon.

While we are all sad that he is leaving tomorrow... we already started planning our next trip to see Timmy Lee and his family in AL!! My mom, dad, kenzie & I will spend a week down south in the end of September.

Also, to get me thinking about the next couple of days and not just tomorrow... we have a huge to-d0 list that we've been adding stuff to since we decided to keep the house. SO... Pete & I will keep busy with that soon!!! First, we are all heading up to WI for some time with Pete's family and to catch up on some sleep and hopefully relax on the beach. We couldn't have asked for a better time with the kids. They both did WONDERFUL!! I'm sure they will miss each other, but it won't be long until they can play again. I'm so thankful that we have the opportunity to travel to AL and that Timmy Ray is awesome and lets us take him back to IL!!!! (I'll post pictures soon but my camera is right next to a sleeping three year old and I'm not about to disturb him!!!)

Life Is Good

THIS NEEDS NO COMMENT...

EATING A DOUGHNUT!!! (Timmy Lee had one too!!)

SUCH A HAPPY BOY!!!

I DONT WANT TO KNOW WHAT SHE'S THINKING!!

Everyone has ups and downs in life, some bigger then others. I can hopefully say that I've been through one of the biggest downs that I could ever have imagined... which really really stunk... but now I can feel us getting back up. This does not mean I don't miss Tammy. I still want her back and I cannot wait to see her in Heaven. However, God taught us to have a new focus on this life to make every day count... to cherish the family we have, enjoy the friends who have been there through thick and thin, love each other more everyday (ok... we have our "crabby with each other" days too... but at least those are way less then the good days), appreciate the gift God gave us to raise and adore while she's growing and changing every day, and to just appreciate the small common things that we take for granted.

I don't want to be one of those people who make things seem perfect all the time because that is NOT life.. not anyones.. not mine. In my past blog I was honest when it hurt and I was real about how I was feeling. I'm hoping to do the same here, but I am confident that they will be more encoraging as time goes on!! Enjoy the pictures from the past couple days and if you're reading this, you are someone who loves me and who I love and I really appreciate you... especially if you are one of the people who prayed me out of a very hard time in my life.

God is good.

I LOVE LOVE LOVE my nephew.

SOME PICTURES OF IL & WI FUN

THEY LOOK LIKE AN OLD COUPLE...

he even runs off the road because he's too busy looking at houses and people :)
THEIR NEW TOY

AT THE BARABOO PARK

THEY WERE SO HAPPY TO SEE EACH OTHER!!

OUR LITTLE HOME!!

We didn't know how Timmy Lee was going to handle coming back to IL for 2 weeks but he has been GREAT. He did wonderful on the plane ride and enjoyed the long weekend up at the condon in WI. We are now back in IL (all staying at my mom & dads so that the kids can be together from the time they wake up till they go "nigh nigh".) In WI we went boating, beaching, swimming at the pool (more like wrestling Pete on a tube while trying to squirt each other with a water gun), to the park, to a small zoo... pretty much anything a three year old boy would want to do in the Dells!! He has an adorable accent and eats like a champ. He LOVED the fireworks and thinks that WI is "very cool". I think we would all agree!!

He has also been very patient with Makenzie. She had been very crabby for about a week and on Saturday she was miserable!! She got a bad middle ear infection and Pete & I took her to the urgent care and later to the ER in the middle of the night. She was in so much pain that she wouldn't eat, drink or sleep and would just cry. SO, the ER doctor gave her tylenol with codien (sp?) and she was able to sleep about three hours at a time. Needless to say, all the adults got about 2 1/2 hours of sleep and Timmy slept for about 10!!! The screaming didn't bother him one bit. I was sad because I was not able to do everything with Timmy since I needed to take care of my little one and I felt like she was missing out on precious time with him... but considering how miserable she was I'm just happy that she is finally back to sleeping and eating today!!! I missed my little joy bug.

We have alot more planned before he goes home so stay tunned for more updates :)

PS. We did take the house off the market and I feel a total peace about it. I cannot wait to put our family pictures back on the walls and put up a fence. I'm not saying that we're going to put it on the market as soon as the economy picks up because then it will seem like a waiting thing rather then a real home sweet home thing. SOOO we are probably going to stay for another baby and then figure it out after that.

Change In Plans?

Well... I feel like someone or many people have been praying for me because God gave me a total change of heart. I was longing for peace and joy and contentment, but was not feeling any of those emotions all at one time or on a consistent basis. HOWEVER, I feel them all now, and I am very thankful and feel like it is close to a miracle. Thank you to all of those who have been praying for me. This is how it all started...

Friday I went up north with just Kenz. It was an easy trip up and we got there early morning. I was looking forward to some time to get unpacked and organized, but I was hit with the same emotion I felt when I was at home by myself. I wanted to sell our home because I felt horrible there... kind of a mix between depressed and moody. I realized that it is NOT the home, it is when I am by myself that I feel this way. Thankfully Pete's mom came over later in the afternoon and I had time to reflect with her and later with Pete. Once I realized this, I started re-thinking the whole house thing. We love our home, we love the layout, we love how the companies are set up already in the office, we love how it is organized and clean, we love the patio and the basement that Pete finished. What I do not like is how I feel when I am there alone. Also, I had a horrible experience bringing Makenzie home so I dreaded the thought of bringing more babies home there... but my mom said that it might be time for us to replace bad memories with good ones. I need to work through this because the feelings will not change no matter where I am. Pete is working longer hours now so it is only going to be more apparent, but I feel a huge peace in knowing that it is not the structure or the location but rather the loneliness and the time to think too much.

Pete & I are going to make a decision this weekend but we are leaning towards taking the house off the market. It would put us in a stable position financially, it would take away the stress of having to move, it would prevent us from taking a loss with the home and would force me to turn to God, family & friends in my times of being alone. I know I have a little one that should distract me, but that does not always work. She is a huge blessing but is not a band-aid in my emotional times.

So basically, I am actually feeling a peace in staying in our home. This is a miracle to me and I know that it is an answer to my own prayers and to the prayers of many others. I actually want to go take the for sale sign down and throw it away right now... but I know we have to think it through. Pete said he would like to stay in the home but understands why I would want to move... so he is supportive either way. He is seriously the best. I felt crazy when I told him I wanted to stay, but he just laughed and said "whatever makes you happy babe". I love the guy.

Fun with Good Friends

This is my first post on our new blog. I feel like I've turned a new page in life so I'm ready to start a fresh blog....(stay tuned for my next post)

Last weekend we went up to the Dells with our friends Adam & Annette and their son Austin who is exactly one year older then Makenzie. Annette is actually the person responsible for Pete & I meeting... so she is very special to us ;) We have gone through alot together and have built a bond that I know will last a lifetime. I know it sounds corny, but the country song "you find out who your friends are" is a song that makes me think of them. They have been amazing to us and have been such a support and have given us alot of encouragement during the hardest time of our life.

The kids had a great time playing and we all had a fun time catching up. We went boating Saturday morning and then put the kids down for a nap in the afternoon. The guys went out cruising in the boat and fixed the pontoon while we talked and relaxed until the kids woke up. We then went up to the strip to shop, look around and even take an "Old Time" picture. I'll have to scan it in soon for you all to see!! We then went back to the condo to grill out and put the kids to bed. Once the babies were sleeping the boys (including Jeb & Steiner) played poker while Annette & I soaked in the hot tub and caught up on girl stuff!! After boating & beaching again Sunday, they packed up to head back to IN in the late afternoon. Pete & I stayed until Monday AM when Pete then took off in his work truck to go do a couple of moves and I took off with Kenzie in the pickup truck to head back home.

We had a wonderful time with Adam, Annette & Austin and we CANNOT wait till we see them again soon.